


your day breaks, your mind aches

by orphan_account



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Bad Boy AU, M/M, additional tags, angst angst angst, chaptered fic, robbe embarrasses himself alot, sander is very cool
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:15:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23328352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: All Robbe could think was no, no, no. This could not be happening. Sander Driesen could not walk in his life wearing that and acting like that.orrobbe thought he was done falling for bad boys, but when sander decides he likes robbe... well... he's not sure if he can keep his promises.
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Comments: 9
Kudos: 129





	1. one

“Ready to go?” Jens asked, reaching out his hand to pull Robbe from the spot in his bed he’d stuck himself in for hours, denying contact from the outside world. Jens’ hand hovered in the air for a few seconds before Robbe obliged, letting Jens pull him up. He threw on his Vans and followed Jens out his bedroom door, light shining through the windows, causing Robbe to cover his face and groan.

“It’s too bright, man,” Jens rolled his eyes and threw his head back to look at a pouting Robbe. He was wearing the same clothes he had been for 2 days, his heart sinking at the thought of getting up to change. 

“Look, dude, you need to get over him. Vince was a douche anyway. No reason to get caught up in it bro,” Jens grabbed Robbe’s notorious brown jacket that swallowed him, but not as much as it did in high school. Robbe’s shoulders were a little broader, his chest a bit less scrawny. 

“Shut up bro. I’m not getting caught up in him in any way,” they walked out the door as Robbe put on his jacket, hopping on his old skateboard and pushing off. The plan was to meet Noor (Moyo’s new girlfriend) and a few other friends from their respective colleges at a bowling alley. Robbe was hesitant to come because of what he would never admit. Another heartbreak. Another blow that his fragile heart couldn’t take.

“Yeah right! You need to figure out this obsession with assholes, Robbe! Dont let them fuck with you like this.”

Ouch. That one hurt.

Yes, Robbe had a thing for bad boys (or assholes, as Jens liked to call them). Ever since he came out when he was 16, it was no secret to anyone. First it was Leon in biology class. Then it was Even, then Nolan, then Mats and… well the list goes on. It was stupid. They were always straight and not even interested in a friendship with Robbe. He was too soft for their aura, looking at each of their friend groups. But when Robbe had met Vince, he told himself he wouldn’t fall. 

He noticed the bad boy vibes off the bat. There was no question in it. The middle part and the all black attire. He also had dog tags hanging around his neck and dirty black converse on his feet. They had meet at some dumb rap concert that the boys had dragged him to. Vince had spilled a drink on Robbe and after apologizing, he hung out with Robbe for a while. Robbe had convinced himself it was out of pity, but nonetheless he still pined for the raven-haired boy. Even when he showed no interest.

“Fine ok, fair point. Is there a bar there?” Robbe looked over, pushing off his foot again to pick up some speed. Jens did the same and nodded. “I’m guessing that’s where you’ll be most of the night?

Robbe scoffed and smiled. They rode for a while longer before reaching the bowling alley, putting their boards in the alley next to the building. Jens opened the door for Robbe and put out his hand, as if to show him the way. This made Robbe laugh and punch Jens in the arm. His friend always tried to cheer him up when he got his heart broken. It sometimes helped.

The bowling alley was packed. There were neon signs everywhere you looked, and some 80’s tune was blasting from various speakers. There seemed to be some old video games in one corner of the place that many people were surrounding, having a good time. The bar was on the other side and the bowling alleys were in the back. 

The joy of everyone made Robbe very timid and nervous as they walked over to their friends. He felt like he was going to ruin everyone's night. As he stepped up to their bowling station, he was greeted by the boys and some other people he didn’t know. He could tell Moyo was nervous. 

“Noor is at the bar picking up some drinks. Don’t be stupid please,” Moyo stated, looking sternly at everyone, “Oh, and she brought a friend.”

Robbe and Jens nodded and started to put their names in the kiosk in front of their alley. They put stupid innapropriet names on eachother’s profile’s, making them laugh absurdly loud. They stopped laughing when they realized Noor was walking up.

The two turned around to greet her. She wasn’t what Robbe had expected at all. She had a short, black bob and striking eye makeup, making you almost gasp at her surprising beauty. The septum piercing added onto her very pleasing aesthetic, as well as her dark red lipstick. A bright smile stretched across her face, making the area around her eyes wrinkle. Her happiness even made Robbe smile. 

He walked towards her, holding his hand out. “Hi, I’m Robbe. You must be the special lady,” Moyo groaned and put his head on Noor’s shoulder, making her laugh. Jens introduced himself and walked back to the kiosk, making more names for everybody else.

“Nice to meet you Robbe. Sander should be here any second,” Robbe nodded, assuming Sander was the friend Moyo had mentioned. Noor and Robbe carried on with conversation for a while. Robbe learned that she goes to the art school about 20 minutes away from the University of Antwerp. She had met Moyo at her friend’s open mic about a month ago. 

Out of nowhere, Noor was being tackled, long arms wrapping around her slender frame, tickling her. Robbe was taken aback, as he had no idea who was doing this. The two people were in a fit of laughter. Once the tackling stopped, the person stepped out from behind Noor and looked straight into Robbe’s eyes, still giggling. Robbe’s smile dropped.

So this was Sander.

Oh great.

The smirk of Sander’s face was relentless, his gaze not breaking. His hair was white, but his eyebrows were incredibly dark, drawing lots of attention to his face. Robbe broke his eye contact with this boy and looked down at his clothes. He almost wanted to let out a loud sigh. He was wearing all black. His combat boots were splattered with paint, obviously worn out from years of use. 

Sander cleared his throat, making Robbe look back into his eyes. The boy reached out his hand to him.

“Sander. Sander Driesen,” Robbe shook his hand.

“Uh- Robbe,” Their hands lingered for a few seconds before Robbe pulled his hand down a bit forcefully. 

All Robbe could think was  _ no, no, no.  _ This could not be happening. Sander Driesen could not walk in his life wearing  _ that _ and acting like  _ that _ . 

He stood carlessley as he talked to Robbe’s friends, who seemed to be getting along with him just fine. He laughed at all the right times and all of his facial expressions were animated, putting Robbe in a trance. 

Jens soon announced that the bowling needed to start now, or he might escape to the bar for the rest of the night. 

The names that Jens and Robbe made for everyone were revealed and Robbe didn’t even bother to laugh with everyone else. He just kept stealing glances at Sander, hoping he didn’t see him.

“Hey Robbe. Earth to Robbe,” Robbe turned around to Jens, who was waving his face in the boy’s face, “It’s your turn.”

Robbe walked to choose his bowling ball. He was suddenly nervous about how this would go. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of everyone. The more he thought about it though, he really just didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of Sander. That was stupid.

“Come on, Robin!”

That was Sander’s voice. He had just called him Robin.  _ No, no, no. _

He rolled the ball. He made a strike. 

There were a few cheers behind him, but there were none from Sander. 

Robbe turned around to face his friends, who were pushing Sander up to take his own turn. 

As Robbe walked past to set his ball down but Sander leaned over him, taking hold of the ball before the shorter set it down. Robbe shivered, making Sander chuckle.

“Watch this, Robin.”

There was that nickname again. The voice in his head got louder, telling him to walk away from Sander Driesen. 

He ignored the voice and kept his gaze on Sander, who rolled the ball forward and made a perfect strike. Robbe scoffed. How did Sander make it look so good?

“That’s how it’s done everyone,” Sander said to the group, his arms raised in victory. He glanced at Robbe before sitting down again, starting a conversation with Jens. Robbe didn’t know where to go, so he just sat across from Moyo and Noor, who were obviou

busy. Noor was practically in Moyo’s lap. Robbe just looked at his phone for a while, doing nothing in particular. 

-

The game was finished soon, Sander won by a landslide very quickly. The stares from the boy had stopped and Robbe couldn’t decide if that meant relief or wanting. It concerned him that he even had to think about it. 

As the group walked out of the crowded building, Sander seemed to be getting closer to Robbe. By the time they were out the door, he was strolling right beside him. 

“Your eyes are pretty,” Sander whispered. 

A pause.

“Uh- uhm. Huh?”

What was he supposed to say to that?

“I said, your eyes are pretty.”

Robbe just stared at him. Sander’s face was unreadable. He couldn't figure out if this guy was being genuine or just a jerk. 

Sander smiled and reached out his hand to touch Robbe’s shoulder, but the brunet stalked away before he could do so. He grabbed his skateboard from the alley and rode away, not even waiting for Jens.

When he was about halfway down the street, he looked back. 

Sander was standing there, looking at him. He had a joint hanging out of his mouth and was getting ready to light it. Robbe looked away. 

His phone buzzed, but Robbe couldn’t bring himself to care. The lights of Antwerp led him back to his flatshare, where he was safe from Sander Driesen and his bleached hair and his black clothes and his combat boots. 

-

He unlocked the door to the flat and dropped his skateboard down, letting it roll forward. He took off his coat and went straight to his room, flopping down onto his bed.

Sander’s words were stuck in his head. The smooth words coming out of the boy’s soft lips made Robbe want to smile and scream at the same time. 

It wasn’t too long before Robbe decided alcohol could solve his problem.

3 bottles of beer later, Robbe started searching Sander Driesen on every social media platform he could think of. 

20 minutes went by with no result, so he went to Moyo’s instagram. He found a post of Noor and Moyo together. Noor was tagged in the post, so he clicked on her username. Her account was filled with pictures of graffiti and selfies. He kept scrolling until he saw his face.

Sander Driesen’s face was there, so Robbe clicked. He kept clicking until he was on the boy’s account. 

_ earthlingoddity _ ? Huh?

It didn’t matter. He followed him. Liked a few of his posts. His movements were lagged, and it took several seconds to figure out how to utilize the app, even if he had had it for years. The alcohol controlled his movements.

Especially when he decided he should DM him. The first thing that came to mind was what he typed. 

_ @sterkerdenijzer: what els isw prety abot me? _

Robbe smiled and sent it, letting the alcohol put him to sleep.


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbe attends an art show, and to his surprise, he runs into someone who is keen on getting to know him better.

Robbe woke up the next morning with a headache and a reminder of his _stupid_ actions. 

He was sprawled out on his bed with his phone near his feet and beer bottles on his windowsill. The blinds slightly opened to show a bright sky, indicating that Robbe slept in later than intended. 

The flat was eerily silent, meaning that Jens must have stayed at someone else's house, a normal occurrence. Occasionally, when Robbe brought boys over for the night, he would tell them he lived alone. Jens was always at some girl's place anyway.

Robbe decided now was the time to take a shower before he rotted away into his bed. He sat up slowly and kept his hands firm on the bed to keep him steady. The phone at the foot of the bed was just waiting for him. That _stupid_ DM was just right there, whether Sander answered it or not. Robbe decided now was not the time to find out.

The shower was warm against his skin, washing away the misery of the last week. He realized that he hadn't thought about Vincent Hawthorn since before the bowling alley. Since he met Sander. 

He shut off the water and climbed out to dry himself. The reflection looking back at him in the mirror was better than before. The dark circles under his eyes were less prominent and his eyes were brighter. _Wonder if Sander would find them even prettier now..._

Robbe almost slapped himself. _No, no, no._ He shut off the bathroom lights and stomped down the hall to get dressed.

-

30 minutes later, he found himself staring at the ceiling. His mind was loud. There were thoughts of Sander mostly. He stopped pushing them away after a while, realizing they wouldn't leave. He let them flood his mind until the front door opened. 

"Robbe, you awake?" It was Jens' voice.

Robbe sat up, "Yeah, in here."

Footsteps came closer until his bedroom door was opened. Jens was looking at his phone.

"Noor has an art show today and Moyo wants us there-" Jens looked up, "Oh, look who isn't self-loathing anymore."

Robbe rolled his eyes, "You sound like my mama."

Jens came forward and planted himself on his friend's bed. 

"You up for it?" he asked, looking worried. 

Robbe thought for a minute. He had no other plans today, although he will admit he wanted to order some cheap Italian food and watch _10 Things I Hate About You._ The more he thought about it, an art show sounded like a less-likely place to start crying about a movie where a bad boy breaks a girl's heart.

"Yes, I'll go. What time?" Robbe asked. 

Jens scrolled through his texts with Moyo until he found the answer. "Uhh... 30 minutes."

Robbe groaned and looked at Jens. "You could have told me sooner!" 

Jens scoffed, "I texted you! Here, look."

Jens threw him Robbe's phone from the foot of the bed. The lock screen did indeed show a text from Jens. It also revealed 3 miss calls from Jens, a text from his mama, and an Instagram notification. The colorful icon next to that username wanted to make him vomit. Or dance. 

"Who's _earthlingoddity_?" Jens asked, looking over Robbe's shoulder.

Robbe turned off his phone and sighed. "It's Sander, Noor's friend."

Jens looked confused for a bit before he shrugged and dragged Robbe out of the room.

"Time to eat!" Jens announced, grabbing his jacket and grabbing his skateboard. Robbe followed and slid his phone into his pocket. He couldn't check it now.

-

The art show was packed. The chattering came from every direction, still weirdly quiet. People stood back to look at the painting and sculptures, dissecting them with their eyes. Robbe never really understood people's fascination with art that's meaning wasn't there. The term _abstract_ didn't mean much to him.

"Heyy guys!" The two turned around to find Noor and Moyo. Noor was beaming and pulling Robbe into a hug. Her outfit today was more professional but her eye makeup still striking as ever. 

Noor talked a bit about what the art show was for, mentioning some fundraiser for the school. Robbe tried to pay attention but failed as soon as he saw him. Well, he saw his smug smile first. 

_Of course he was here._ He should have thought of that. Sander obviously belonged somewhere like this. Sander's eyes gazed into Robbe's own, making the brunet flinch and look at the ground. 

"My art is being displayed over in that corner, so I'll be over there if you need me!" Robbe looked back up, immersing back into reality. 

Everyone nodded and Moyo stayed behind. 

Jens punched Moyo's shoulder. "Dude, she's so hot!"

Moyo laughed and shoved him away, muttering something about alternative girls always being better. 

It wasn't long before the two boys looked Robbe's way, noticing his distant look. 

Jens waved his hands in front of Robbe's eyes. "Uh, Robbe, dude, you good?'

Robbe looked up and nodded, plastering a smile on his face. He felt like he was being stupid. _Why does he have such an effect on me?_

He's dealt with lots of boys like him. But Sander was different. He seemed entranced in Robbe, like his eyes told a story only Robbe could know. 

Jens and Moyo resumed their conversation about lord knows what. 

Robbe tried to keep his eyes on the floor, but they kept disobeying. He wanted to find Sander again. He wanted to hang out with him. He wanted to solve the mystery that was _Sander Driesen._

A tap on his shoulder brought him out of his daze, but when the person cleared their throat, Robbe wanted to go right back. He recognized the deep rumble at the back of this person's throat. It made Robbe's heart jump as he turned around.

"Well, I see you've come to see my masterful paintings" Sander winked, paying no attention to the boys behind him. In return, Robbe and Moyo didn't seem to notice Sander, making the brunet feel a little dizzy.

Robbe played with his fingers. "Noor asked us to be here." The sentence came out almost robotically, taking Sander aback.

"Well, I have a joint. Kom." Sander re-directed his head the other way, making no motion for Robbe to follow as he walked away. Robbe went with him anyway.

Sander led him up a flight of stairs and down a very dark hallway. The floorboards creaked and the air smelled of mold, but Robbe couldn't process it when Sander put his hand into Robbe's to make him walk a little faster. The blonde was humming some song when he looked back to the shorter boy, pausing his self-orchestrated concert to smile at him.

_Oh no._

The light was getting dimmer and Robbe could no longer hear the chatting downstairs. His stomach gave a jolt the when Sander abruptly stopped at a door, its paint peeling away to show old, faded wood. 

Sander let go of Robbe's hand to reach for the door handle, which seemed stuck in place. It took everything Robbe had to not whine at the cold air that filled the spot of Sander's warm hand. 

"Hm...," Sander looked back at Robbe briefly, "I don't think anyone has opened this door in a while."

Sander chuckled before he motioned Robbe to step back. 

"What are you gonna d-"

Sander didn't give time for Robbe to ask, as he kicked down the door in one fell swoop, making the brunet laugh.

Sander turned back at him with the brightest smile as he took Robbe's hand back and led him into the room. And _God_ did he look so hot doing what he just did.

-

"Oh shit, man, that's crazy," Robbe laughed with his eyes closed, limbs spread out on the floor.

Sander laughed too, putting his arms out in an exasperated gesture, joint still in his hand.

"And every Sunday, we would all sneak up here with the sweets we collected," Sander said, looking at Robbe. 

"Did the home-owner ever know," Robbe asked, eyes opened now. 

Sander shook his head, "Nope. never," then his eyes widened for dramatic effect, "Actually I don't know."

This sent them both into a laughing fit, rolling around on the floor like children. 

The whole 30 minutes they had been there, Robbe had shared more with this man than he ever thought he would. Sander listened to it with open ears, drinking in every word like a man in the desert. He never interrupted him and for every word he spoke, Sander would speak the same amount back. In fact, Sander seemed thrilled to talk to Robbe.

Sander told him about art school and about his family back in France. He told him about the vacations his family would take to Antwerp in the Summer, leading them up to this conversation. 

Robbe looked away from Sander and around the room.

"It's beautiful here," Robbe whispered. 

It really was. If you looked past the cobwebs and dust, you'll find that the room once had life. A window on the right wall displayed Antwerp's finest views. Robbe felt like he had been talking to Sander forever. Robbe checked his watch to see that it hadn't been that long, Sander just had that effect on him.

_14:09_

Robbe sighed a looked pack at the boy lying next to him. His mouth was ajar, like he was about to say something. Once he realized Robbe was watching him, he turned his head to him.

"You never answered my dm," Sander said, making Robbe's heartbeat quicken. He had completely forgotten about that whole thing. Robbe averted his eyes away.

"I never—well... I never saw it," Robbe answered. Sander snorted and pulled his phone out, going to Instagram.

"See," Sander moved closer, "Right here, silly man."

Sander handed his phone to Robbe, the screen revealing Sander's answer to his drunken message.

_Well, now I think I especially like intoxicated messages from you._

Robbe's eyes widened and a blush crept up his face. He racked his mind for every possible way to get out of this, but nothing seemed to make any sense. Sander cleared his throat to get Robbe's attention, to which Robbe gave in.

"I'm sorry, Sander," Robbe said, feeling embarrassed out of his mind, "I should go."

Robbe sat up with intention of getting out of there, but Sander had other ideas. A hand came to cup Robbe's face, lips meeting his own.

It felt like a gift, given with gentle care, only for Robbe. It felt like a secret that was being shared, one that brought joy. Butterflies seemed to fill Robbe's chest with every move Sander made.

Robbe slowly made his way back down to the floor, his hands tangling in Sander's hair. Whine and soft sounds spilled from his mouth as he tried to get _more, more, more._ Sander used his elbows to support himself above the boy, making Robbe feel safe and protected.

When they both pulled away for air, it was only then Robbe realized how bad this was.

"I've gotta go, sorry," Robbe said, his voice uneven. Sander's eyes looked panicked. He stuttered to find words, but Robbe was gone before he could think of something to say.

-

The streets of Antwerp felt different than last night. Lat night, Robbe had been running away for Sander, a boy he knew nothing about. 

Now he was running away from Sander, a boy who had kissed him. A boy who he had shared sacred memories with. Now he was running away from real feelings.

Robbe had left the art show as fast as he could, not bothering saying bye to Noor or the boys. In fact, he hadn't even seen them when he walked rushed downstairs. 

He had walked around the city for hours, not stopping once. He took in things he never had, he observed people he'd never seen. 

There was no way Robbe was going back to the flatshare. He didn't want shit from Jens about where the hell he's one. Robbe didn't want to think about it right now.

So that night, the lights of Antwerp led him somewhere else. 

-

Robbe shifted his weight as he waited at the door, staring at the familiar blue paint. Robbe had picked out that color when he was 7 after he told his parents, " _I don't think this door likes being a boring color anymore."_

The door opened, a frail-looking woman standing at its frame.

"Robbe? Are you ok," Mama asked, reaching out for her son.

Robbe fell into her embrace, letting her bring him inside where it was warm. She didn't say anything else, only sat him on the couch and rushed to the kitchen to find some of Robbe's favorite things.

-

_A pool. That's where I am._

_It's cold. Very blue._

_A boy is now here, splashing in the water. He's beautiful._

_I'll follow. I want to be there with him._

_He's laughing. Such a beautiful laugh._

_His hair is white. His skin is so tan._

_I'll kiss him._

Robbe awoke with his a jump, his eyes flying open. He looked around slowly, looking for something that wasn't there. 

The dream had seemed so vivid, it must have brought him out of sleep. Robbe settled back onto his old mattress, snuggling into his pillow.

He fell back asleep quickly, thinking about Sander in a cold, blue pool. His laughter bouncing off the water and onto Robbe. 

Robbe slept better than he had in a while after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr @robbekoala (changed my url)


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sander made something for Robbe, and it takes a special person to convince him to show the boy.

"Robbe?"

Something shook his shoulder. _Too early. Don't wanna wake up._

"Robbe, I've made you something special," _Mama's voice_.

Robbe opened his eyes to a bleary version of her caring face above him. She looked excited, her brown eyes wrinkling at the edges to reveal a smile. Her brown hair was up in a messy bun and a soft, white cardigan was hung around her shoulders. 

Robbe hummed in acknowledgment that he was awake as he propped himself up on his elbows. 

"Is it food," Robbe asked, crooking his head to the side. His eyes were still heavy and his hair was a mess, making his mama laugh.

"You guessed it, my love," She answered, holding her hand out in invite for him to get up.

Robbe accepted the hand and followed her to the kitchen, smelling french toast and fresh orange juice on the way. A smile spread across his face. 

"Oh, mama," Robbe sighed out, smile not dropping, "thank you."

Mama dismissed his praise with her hand, dropping Robbe into a seat at the island. Mama served him a plate with a tall glass of orange juice.

She watched him dig in, not taking her eyes off of her son. Robbe paid no mind to it at first. After all, he hadn't been home in about a month. Only after he finished the whole plate did he look up at her.

"What, is there something on my face," Robbe asked, hand flying up to his mouth to wipe any crumbs away. She only laughed and shook her head.

"I-well... son, you showed up at my door at eleven o'clock at night," She answered, looking down at the countertop.

Robbe sighed and rubbed his eyes and pulled his knees up to his chest. He wanted to feel small, small enough to disappear. He felt like he was making a big deal of this. Sander wasn't anybody. Sander was an accident. He didn't have to give him another thought, really.

_So why does every thought come back to him?_

_-_

_Sander's POV_

_you're beautiful, and I'm insane..._

The words flowed out of the small blue speaker. Sander lowered the volume as the bass got stronger so he could keep focusing.

_oh god, i miss you on my lips. it's me your little venice bitch..._

Sander scoffed at the lyrics. It was a habit of his, to look down on songs about love. He turned back to the canvas in front of him. A pallet of neutral colors splayed across its surface. Light brown, pink, dark purple, gray, yellow. All of the colors that reminded Sander of him.

He brought his paintbrush back up, this time going in with yellow. He painted an outline of the boy with the bright color, trying to capture his joy and warm features. 

_And, done._

Sander back away to look at it from afar, eyes lighting up at the final product. Everything was in place, so perfect. The dimples around his mouth, the way his eyebrows lifted when he was happy. Although the painting would never do him justice, Robbe was here in this way. Sander could keep him without fear of losing the boy. It was possessive, he knew, but his mind couldn't let go of that mystery of a man. And it was starting to worry him.  
  


The music on his speaker stopped, signaling the battery died. Sander sighed and pivoted his foot to walk out of his room. The house was quiet, echoing Sander's footsteps back to him.

He walked into the bathroom, taking a glance at himself in the mirror. Paint covered his hands and wrists, some coloring the tips of his hair. Sander's mama always used to tease her son for being so messy while he painted. 

He reached for the shower handle and pulled it toward him, turning it as hot as he could get it. He quickly closed the drain so he could take a bath, thinking that would be more calming for his mind. Which was racing at 5,000mph. 

The counter was cluttered with deodorants and toothpastes, half of being his mess. His roommate was just as messy as him, but what could you ask from a college boy? 

Sander hummed a song as he waited for the bath to fill up. His accuracy wasn't the best, but it resembled Rebel, Rebel by David Bowie. He started to take his clothes off for the bath, letting everything fall carelessly on the ground. Once the bath was ready, he turned off the water and stepped in. Sander flinched at the heat, standing still for a moment to get used to the temperature. His mind slowed as he fully submerged into the water, closing his eyes and sinking in deeper. He continued to hum the song until his eyes were droopy and he realized he needed to clean up before he fell asleep. 

-

_Black coffee, iced latte, espresso shot, americano..._

"Sander?" the voice was surprised and excited. He turned around to see his childhood best friend, Noor, right behind him.

"Oh, hey Noor!" Sander grinned at her, grabbing her arm and pulling her toward the front of the line. A few people groaned at the action, but Sander paid no mind.

"What would you like?" Sander asked, gesturing to the large menu behind the counter. Noor reached in her crossbody for her wallet, but Sander blocked her hand from getting it.

"Nuh-uh, I pay. What do you want?" 

The cashier was starting to get impatient, so Noor stated her regular order and stepped behind Sander. 

"Chai tea iced latte, please", Sander smiled and handed her the card. Noor sent him a questioning look but walked to a table anyway.

Once Sander had paid and retrieved the drinks, he sat down with her. 

"Here you go ma'am, one plain black iced coffee, made with the finest coffee beans in all of Belgium," Sander said in English, trying to sound British. It made Noor giggle, but she made a straight face quickly after, glancing at Sander's drink.

"Why that? You always get plain black."

Sander shrugged and glanced down, tapping his foot rapidly on the floor. He felt the need to shiver. It was too still in here and Noor interrogating him was no help. 

"Have you been taking your meds, Sander?", she asked, trying to keep her voice level. She didn't want to sound like she was pitying him.

Sander looked over her shoulder at the bustling people outside, it was getting late, the sky turning a purple kind of blue.

 _I'll paint that too,_ Sander thought.

He looked back at his friend, sighing deeply and taking a sip of his coffee.

"Please don't worry. I just didn't want that much caffeine before bed, ok?"

Noor didn't seem convinced, but she carried on normal conversation anyway. They talked about their families and friends. They joked around a little bit, making Sander feel calmer. It felt nice to be with Noor. But he couldn' help but notice his hands shaking when he lifted them.

"So what's the last thing you've worked on", Noor asked. Sander guessed she meant art-wise, so he pulled out his phone to show her. He hesitated pressing on his camera roll, scared to reveal who the painting praised. 

He looked back at Noor who cocked her head to the side. She was curious, sure, but was it worth it revealing that he was minorly obsessed with her boyfriend's best friend. 

It was _Noor_. It would be fine.

He pulled up the photo and slowly slid his phone across the wooden table, watching Noor's reaction intently. She held the phone to her face and zoomed in at certain places. She paid attention to the texture of the painting and the colors. They weren't his normal shade of black, white, and blue. Then, she saw the face. 

"Is that..." Her eyes widened as she looked up at Sander. She set the phone down and slid it back to Sander. He looked nervous. He was biting his lip in hoped of drawing blood, just to bring him back down to Earth with Noor. 

"Sander, it's ok," she whispered. Sander shook his head fast, tears welling up his eyes.

"I don't even know if he's out, Noor. I don't want to go through this again." 

Noor took his hand in hers, stopping him from picking at the skin around them. She rubbed her thumb around the back of his hand, trying to soothe him. 

"The painting is beautiful, Sander. You should send it to him." 

Sander's eyes widened at that. _Send it?!_

"I'm ashamed I made it in the first place. No way."

Noor smiled and shook her head, "Just do it, see what happens. You've never been the kind to be scared."

She was right. They've been friends since they were 7. She's seen it all. From his first girlfriend to his first one nightstand. She knew everything. She was well acquainted with Sander's boundless confidence. So she was stumped as to why Sander was afraid to show his feelings for Robbe. 

The next thing she knew Sander was typing fast on his phone and hitting send. There was no fear on his face anymore. Now, there was only excitement. 

Too much excitement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't take this mental health description as facts, i'm just trying to build up to something. also i added 2 more chapters because sander and robbe haven't had much interaction yet. 
> 
> find me on tumblr @robbekoala :)

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @shrekie-juice :)
> 
> also, title is from "For No One" by the beatles


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